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as I now find neither the opertunity of speaking with the Sistrs
nor even hearing tho preaching, being Obligd to go with my Mistress
to the Methodist Meetings which it went very hard with me; this
continued 4 year, when to my great joy I had the pleasure to see
Sistr Mary, the then Choir helper of his Singles Sistrs for the first
time she spoke very tenderly to me and comforted me in my great
distress, after which I was re'd into the Society, but coud still
not go to the meetings which causd me much pain, My Dr
Sistr Mary, aford me she wou'd do her best for me, that I
should lose nothing which lay in her power. I was still not
satisfied, till by means of Br Gross I got leave to go to the
Meetings, for which I was very thankfull, and injoyd that
privelege once a fornight during the last year of my apprentiship.
in this time I often felt my own Misery and depravity to
such a degree, that it was as if the condemnation ^on account of all
bad things lay upon me, and I cou'd find no comfort. My
time being almost out my Master desir'd me to Stay longer
with Him which adding to my perplexity I made my mind
known to Sistr Mary, who advisd me ? do as I felt in my own
heart; this brought me to a solid reflection, and I often pray'd
our Savr to renew my call to me and make it quite clear
to me that I belongd to the congn Whenever I shou'd obtain leave
to live with the Sistrs. Augst 14 1756 I unworthy child, had
the favour to come into the Oeconomy at Gumersall, where
according to my desire, it was clear to me from the first hour
that now I was in my right place, where I belong'd, which has
been a support and comfort to me. During my abode with the
sistrs, thro' all difficulties, I went on Chearfull, and spent my
time Happy as a poor Sinner, and had the grace to be recd
into the congn Jany the 6 1756 to my unexpected joy and
abasement; this was a real comfort to me, amidst the
feeling of my own depravity, which my Br and unwearied
Savr made me from time to time more sensible of ^just go as I poor child
was able to bear it. when I was spoke to about the Lords supper
I felt a great deal, but my ardent prayer was that Our Savr
might make me a right happy poor Sinner, that I might not
receive the Holy Sacrament to my Detriment, desiring him to wash
my heart in his most precious blood that so I might be a fit?
candidate for it, this time was a real blessing to me, wherein
I felt his rich comfort amidst my poverty and weakness both of
body and mind, Augst 13 1757 I was spectator but? the Holy Comunion
Which increasd my longing desire to injoy that Highest good
Tho' Conscious of my unworthiness, zst? I spent my time more
Chearfull, in relyance on him knowing his time woud be the
best Septr 2 1755 I injoy'd this grace to my deep humiliation
Which blessing I hope to remember till I shall grow pale
in his Arms, thus I spent my time in his nearness as a poor
faulty creature, asham'd to thank what patience my dr savr
has had with me from my verry Birth; as well as the love
and tenderness of the sistrs towards me Whilst in this Oeconomy,
July 14 1760 I had the unexpected pleasure to move into the
choir house at fullneck
Our late Sistr ends fer own account with a few lives to the
Helper of the Choir as fellows
Now my Br and tenderly beloved
Sistr Lorsl I pray you to excuse me entering any for their on
on my poor lifes course as I am not able, so much I can say
my before has been from the first Moment that I might live
according to Our Savrs mind, poor as I am and have been abl
all my life. May but he will be fullfilld in me whatever
pain my Body may go thrd tis no concern to me, I am His
He may do whatsoever is pleasing in his sight, with His unworthy
child. Her heart was tenderly atach'd to Our Savr and
Her Election of grace to be among his people, was a matter of joy
and thankfulness thro her whole course, and Our Savrs