Scripto
Transcribe Peter Emburg page 04a
in Peter Emburg
discuss page | view history | view document
Current Transcription
But her words took no effect or place in my heart
& I often wish'd myself to be from her in a
Distant country to hear her words no more, yet
I felt now & then a little tenderness towards her words
& thought it was true what she said, but soon
vanish'd away, I often thought if she did not give
up speaking thus to me I would travell through
the world, or I would list on become a soldier which
thought I was plagued with for some years -
& if it had not been that God had hindred it by plan-
ting some tender Regard or pitying love to my
mother, who I then thought would Break her heart
with grief for me, I would not have stay'd one
Day, but the secret hand of god kep me from hurting
either myself or her, so I stayed with my parents
from year to year, how ever all the time I labourd
hard so that when I was about the age of 17 or 18
I had the management of the greatest part of
my father's business -
My as my naturall sence & reason encreas'd so
my pride, my lists, my anger which was as hot
I think sometimes as a fiery flame encreas'd in me
to that height, that I often found it so strong in
me that had i not been for fear of tehe laws of the
land I would have done hurt to man & beast, thus
in this abominable Drudgery of Satan have I rem-
ained for some years feeding my fancies & fulfilling
my Develish practice & fleshly appetite filing up
& heaping & adding sin to sin, till my heart was full
of bitterness & my mouth full of cursing & swearing
so that I gloried in oaths, & endeavour'd according to the
custom of our place to swear by the holy name of God
& thought by myself this would be counted bravery
or manhood in me, this I practis'd for a time &
as my mother who took greater care according
to her light then my father, though at that time
as god afterwards shewed her she was no Christian
only in name, yet would charge me to read a
few chapters in the Bible or go to Church.