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I got soon a answer from the Congregation, which containeth: That I would have patience a little longer, and they would sent me words as soon as possible. This uncertain answer turned in my head and I could not recollect myself: I thought our Savior promised me that I should set out this year to the Congregation and now I am set in suspence! but fearfly had I resigned my will according to our Savior's direction then I received the glad tidings from the Congregation that I might come. I did not know what to do for shame and contrition of my heart, I prostrated myself to his bloody feet and thanked him with 1000 tears. AD 1760 the 10th of January I arrived at Hauth and it is a particularjoy to me that it was just on my Birthday. In the first night after my arrival I made a covenant with our Savior: not to rest till he made me to a true child of God. I went on very chearfull and glad because of my being into the Congregation. But by degrees the holy ghost begun to tip upon something or another, wherein I should be sincere to my Labourer, but my by nature dissembling heart retarted me, that I was ashamed to tell, and so I went in constant uneasyness for a while. As I was the 9th of Julyreceived into the Congregation
Then I could not longer forbear to speak with my Choir Labourer from the Bottom of my Heart. My Labourer couldn't comfort myself, much less I could; our Savior himself must do it, and then my Heart was very easy and glad, and I could enjoy my Heir and right on the House of God in his Generation. AD On the 18th of March as on holy Thursday I was admitted by the Pedilarium and to the holy Sacrement. The holy Days and the 40 Days after Easter were nothing but Feasts to me. However I did and went on worthy to this Grace and gave way to the Falsehood of my spoiled Soul and by that means lost the blessed enjoyment of my first so happy communion. AD 62 was a Choir Comunion and I had no Leave to partake with my choir, and this our Savior continued several times by Comunion in the Congregation; this embarrassed my very heart and brought my Soul in Confliction. I feeled my marred and dissembling heart with very much concern, but our dear Savior continuouslyfollowed me and very often comforted me, however I couldn't comfort myself. At last in a Night he drew near to my poor Soul and it was to me as to one who had found Peace before his Eyes !
I feeled