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My longing was now daily increased to become a partaker of the
Holy Sacrement which grace was granted me Nov 1747 after
which I believd simply I should yeild more satisfaction to the
Congn & my self. These thoughts brought me into a very loyal
way but could not with my best endeavours effect what I wish for,
and having no Laboress at that time to help & encourage us,
I thought to direct myself, but not being able this way only brought
me into confusion. At last I was convinc'd that even those who were
partakers of his body & blood could lay up no store without a
daily & hourly supply from the fountain from whence all good
springs. Therefore I determin'd to be directed and influenced
alone by him who has often approv'd himself as my friend in need.
In the year 1748 I mov'd to home Oeconomy where I liv'd a year
Chearfully & satisfy'd then there being a new Oeconomy began
at Littlemoore. I was one that was place'd there where I learnd
to know more of myself and the leading of our Saviour with me
then I was sensible of before. In the year 50 I mov'd again
to the Oeconomy at Conhouse, where I thought to live Chearfully
with the rest of my Companions. But here I must observe
I was again disturb'd by my own Corruption of which I thought
I had sufficient knowledge
Corrupted heart was unfathomable which made me almost
conclude it was unpossible for me to be help to the end of days
?????????. I was often encouraged by those about me to
believe I was not to bad for our Savr but to no purpose, till I
felt it scals & made clear to my heart by my best friend. He
often took such oppertunities as these to melt & bow my heart before
him anew, & thereby to make my call & diction of grace of greater
value to me. The same year the Oeconomy mov'd to Fulneck
there to reside till the Choir house which was their in building,